Believe it or not I'm not a real "crowds" person. I guess it really depends on what the crowd is for really. Anyways, I went to the "Redmond egg hunting thingy" today down town in an effort to prep Joey for the Easter egg hunt that he's having tomorrow with his older cousin. I didn't want him to feel down if his 7 yr old cousin got more eggs than him. I wanted him to learn the generosity thing about giving someone an egg if they didn't have one. I wanted him to branch out and get the rush of feeling a little trampled on (like survival of the fittest etc. ) What I didn't realize was I think he was a little more prepared than I was !!!! Ha!
We get there and there is a ton of people. The street was blocked off and they are dumping eggs in the street and parents are holding their 3-4 year old kids back. I was a little cautious about letting him go out there all by himself but a few of my "more experienced egg hunting mommies" said not to worry about it. The parents stay back so you can see your kid that way. "oh. okay" I thought. I didn't really get to prep Joey like I wanted to on what the egg thing would be like, but I figured he would do it and we would talk about it after wards and heal all wounds if necessary.
The man with the horn thing counted down from ten and Joey was smiling and kinda confused then he got to "1" and I said "go JOey, go get eggs!" he was getting trampled on (not by kids) but by adults! Adults filling the kids baskets with eggs etc. He was having a blast-I was freakin appalled! I put on a happy face and didn't act surprised when he only got two eggs. Its horrible when you watch your little one get trampled over by adults and he is happy as can be just to be apart of the action. He was so excited about his eggs and the candy that instead of me feeling defensive (and unforgivably pissed off at some parents) I embraced his joy and excitement with a crooked smile.
In the car on the way to my well deserved caffeine fix at Starbucks.... I thought about what its going to be like with him going to school sooner than later and me dealing with the other parents. What parent am I going to be. The "watch out the winy biotch mom is coming!" or the Sweet, gentle, "oh its okay that your son called my son that bad word" kind of mom. It would be easy for me to say that I will just "be myself" but sometimes, as a mom, it seems like its not good enough in this world. I mean, I would jump in front of a semi for my kids. That's the kind of blood I got goin in the veins on a daily, normal, layed back basis. ha! I know u know what I'm talking about.
So, here I am feeling helpless and hopeless about Joey's future. Lord, please protect my Joey and Ruthie. In this special time of Easter I know you remind me you loved us so much you gave us your Son so that we could be free and not worry about this stuff. You have a journey for Joey and Ruthie. It feels like I'm jumping off a cliff of trust. I guess thats a good place to be. Thankyou.
6 years ago