refrain from "Motherwise"

I'm glad I didn't talk about "Motherwise" yesterday. This entry might have looked a little different. With the f- bomb here and there and cussing out a midwife wouldn't have looked very lady like. BUT, don't hold me to it. I'm just starting. :)

The other day Brian and I were priding ourselves on how we hadn't received another bill from "Motherwise" (for those of you who don't know, this is the birth center we were going to have Ruthie in.) We decided Nicole,(the midwife from Motherwise) had finally realized she was full of crap and decided to back off from us cause she realized she was not right, and that she was a liar, and that she was wrong for billing us in the first place after what had happened. Ha! No such luck.....
Yesterday morning with a skip in my step and a smile on my face I opened the mailbox to find a single letter. I saw my name handwritten on it and thought "oh, I must have gotten something cool" ........NOT!!........ there it was, the M0therwise label. My heart sank to the ground and lower if it could have! I saw that we owed $500. My heart started racing. I ran to the house swung open the door and slowly walked to Brian. He was especially chipper, I didn't want to ruin it too fast. I gave it to him reluctantly. He opened it. He didn't look it in the face but he was pretty upset. He looked away and I saw his eyes going back and forth. Well, he was moving too damn slow for me. I immediately started making calls, yelling, and basically my day was shot.

After a long day of research it wasn't until 10 pm that I talked to a friend who works for a collections agency who said there was no doubt in her mind that we would be sent to collections if we didn't pay, and that if we took it to small claims we would end up owing more. It was then that it hit me.......I might have to face a decision that we made when we hired her in the first place and pay the bill along with it of coarse.

After all the face slapping that I did to Nicole in my head it still wasn't satisfying what I knew deep down. Nicole was Nicole. She was always bad news. I just didn't know it. Lately, I have heard so many horrible things about that place I'm terrified. If I had done my research I would have figured it out before. I went to her when I was 38 weeks pregnant. I believed and trusted everything about her. I was so stuck on this "perfect birth thing" that nothing was going to get in my way..
After a very short night sleep, I acknowledge that I made a poor choice. We were ultimately saved from that decision and I'm thankful, so incredibly thankful, teary-eyed thankful. Not only that, we did have a perfect birth....in the perfect hospital... with the perfect Dr.... with a perfect Douala as well.
Brian and I plan on writing Nicole a letter and telling her appropriately how we feel about what happened and why we felt like she was putting us in serious danger. We will report her too. We will make sure we tell anyone and everyone who thinks they should birth there to "run like hell away"!!
I forgive Nicole for what she did but I know I can't change her. I can only hope that she might someday see what she did, like I did hiring her in the first place.